Hey there, Kalamazoo! Do you love politicians who don't know the meaning of the word work?
Then you're gonna love Brandt Iden. He's a can-do, hardworking guy who can't do and doesn't work. He's also the president of Identity Management & Consulting, Inc., a company that...
...we don't actually know what they do. But we DO know that Mr. Identity Consultant never bought www.BrandtIden.com . So we did.
And we're ready with some helpful tips to guarantee YOU have a winning identity. Just follow a simple rule:
DON'T BE A BRANDT VOTER!
TIP #1: Don't Drink and Drive...like Brandt did.
In 2010 AND 2014, Brandt Iden was convicted of drunk driving. Did he own up to it? Take responsibility? Inspire folks with his willingness to change?
DON'T BE A BRANDT VOTER: Someone who lies to win your vote will DEFINITELY lie to you again.
TIP #2: Don't Sell Out the Community to Lobbyists...like Brandt did.
It's great to have regular meetings with business leaders. The best ones create jobs and make our communities stronger. But when Brandt Iden hosted area business leaders at the Kalamazoo Country Club (fancy AND expensive!), he...didn't invite business leaders. He invited corporate lobbyists .
(Fun fact: The only job that sounds phonier than "corporate lobbyist" is "identity manager and consultant.")
DON'T BE A BRANDT VOTER: If you want someone who will fix things in your community, you want someone who will meet the people who actually work in the community, not fat cats at a fancy country club. That probably doesn't even allow cats.
TIP #3: Don't Gamble Our Kids' Futures...like Brandt did.
Most elected leaders stand for SOMETHING—health care, education, the list goes on. Brandt Iden stands for... online gambling .
Yes, that's right , Brandt Iden, 35 years young with no spouse or children, has gone to the mat to legalize online gambling while most families in Michigan are figuring out how to put food on the table, pay for prescription drugs, and get their kids a quality education.
DON'T BE A BRANDT VOTER: Health care, schools, and jobs are all WAY more important than shady Internet casinos. A lot of things are, really.
TIP #4: Don't Skip Work to Hit Up Cocktail Hours with Corporate Lobbyists...like Brandt does.
Brandt Iden received $3,200 in free food and drinks from lobbyists during the first six months of 2018.
$3,200! In six months! More than any other Michigan state legislator !
Were these tuna sandwiches made of gold?! Did he order the lobster every time?! Shouldn't a guy who's been busted twice for drunk driving stay away from open bars?!
DON'T BE A BRANDT VOTER: He's *probably* gonna ask you to pick up the check.
TIP #5: Don't Be a Slumlord...like Brandt was.
Broke. Condemned. Infested. No, we’re not talking about Congress—this time—butabout the apartment complex in Lansing, Michigan, that Brandt Iden managed .
The city eventually condemned the site after an Army vet who called it home reported bug bites and inspectors found black mold. Brandt Iden’s victims lost more than their homes : “residents will have to leave most personal belongings behind due to the level of infestation at Hampton Park Apartments.” Brandt Iden doesn’t see anything wrong with this—in fact, he sponsored legislation to take slumlords off the hook for paying the exterminator when the bedbugs bite.
DON'T BE A BRANDT VOTER: Do we really need ANOTHER guy in power who doesn't care how working families and veterans live?
Seriously...DON'T BE A BRANDT VOTER!
(Also seriously: Identity Management and Consulting, inc.? Was FakeJobConArtist, Inc. already taken?)